Like a smoker trying to quit for the twenty-seventh time, I have tried really, really hard to limit the number tort-related rants in my blog lately. I sometimes go for weeks without falling off the wagon,and then something comes along that is so insane, I can't resist.
Via Overlawyered.com comes this site from attorney Lewis Laska dedicated to outlining all the ways people too bored or incompetent to make money the old fashion way can try to support their lifestyles by suing Walmart. Don't miss this page, where the attorney will sell you packets of information for how to sue for various occurrences, such as:
Parking Lots- Uneven Surface and Protrusions (16 items, $135)
Parking Lots- Improper Parking Lot Design or Marking (11 items, $90)
Entering the Store - Entranceway Floors and Floormats (21 items, $160)
Entering the Store - Doors and Doorways - Tracked-in Water (32 items,
Aisle Ways - In-Store Consumable Food on Floor (18 items, $160)
Aisle Ways - Out-of-Store Consumable Food on Floor (14 items, $120)
Aisle Ways - Unknown Substance on Floor (59 items, $200)
Aisle Ways - Packaged Product on Floor (14 items, $110)
Aisle Ways - Unpackaged Product on Floor (13 items, $100)
Merchandise - Merchandise Protruding (1 item, $15)
Shelving and Racks and Displays - Vegetable Produce Displays (1 item,
Shelving and Racks and Displays - Water/Condensation From
Vegetable/Refrigeration/Freezer Displays (6 items, $55)
Shopping Carts - Overloaded (4 items, $45)
Shopping Carts - Defective (4 items, $45)
This is only a very short sample of the whole list. I especially like the packaged product on floor. Get your friend to drop a box of Wheaties on the floor, and then you follow him and sue. And how the heck is Wal-Mart at fault if you overload your own shopping cart? Anyway, I am going to order one to see what I get.
By the way, I especially liked this whopper, I guess because he is trying to portray himself as the brave man taking on huge odds:
Most lawyers are not interested in filing suits against Wal-Mart.
The company is reluctant to settle cases promptly and fairly and almost
seems eager to take cases to trial. One of the goals of the Wal-Mart Litigation
Project is to identify lawyers who are ready, willing and able to sue the
company where a case has merit.
I hardly know where to start. First, if lawyers are so reluctant to sue Wal-Mart, why does Wal-Mart have like 20,000 suits pending against it? (note the numbers in this article, and it is 4 years old) Second, you gotta love the part about the attorney put out because Wal-Mart won't play the part of the victim like other companies and actually demands their right to a trial. In this one statement, you see exactly how the plaintiff's bar works - they don't really want to go to a trial. They want to force a fast settlement that requires little of their own time and move on with their 30+% of the take.