Christmas Advice for Those Worried About Global Warming

If you are worried about greenhouse gasses and global warming, then I have some Christmas advice for you.   When you are done with your Christmas tree, do NOT take it to one of those "recycling" locations most towns have.  The recycling process is typically chipping and mulching the trees, which just accelerates their decomposition into greenhouse gasses.   If you are really concerned about catastrophic warming, you want to use your tree as a carbon sink.  Have it shrink-wrapped in some sort of plastic what won't biodegrade and then landfill it -- the deeper it is buried, the better.  Those folks trying to get you to "recycle" your tree are secretly in the pay of the Koch brothers and trying to trick you into ruining the environment.

  • jimc5499

    I gave lumps of coal as Christmas gifts to my environmentally emotional friends. The card said to keep it safe so that it won't be burned and add to Climate Change.

  • LoneSnark

    Could you charcoal the tree so it cannot decompose, then landfill it?

  • SamWah

    You...you're a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
    boy!

  • johnmoore

    Well played, Coyote!

  • Agammamon

    Or then wrap it in plastic and give to an evironmentally emotional 'friend' to protect the earth?

  • Not Sure

    Can't we wrap some environmentally emotional people in plastic and bury them in landfills? Please??? 😉

  • kidmugsy

    Burying it in a peat bog would do perfectly well; no need for plastic. Though I'll grant that the warmer states in the US may be deficient in peat bogs. Clearly a global pro-peat bog movement must be launched.

  • Steven Aldridge

    Or buy a fake tree, not as interesting though.

  • Todd Ramsey

    In An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore said we will be hearing a lot more about carbon sequestration in the future. Yet we continue to drive trucks around to collect newspaper for recycling, when (if we are concerned about global warming) we should bury them in a well-run landfill.

  • It's why I don't recycle paper.

  • Ike Evans

    This is freaking brilliant!

  • Ike Evans

    Climate control isn't about the climate. It's about control.

  • Mercury
  • SineWaveII

    There ya go. Just cut out the middleman. Problem solved.