Is Tiger Coming To Arizona to Cure His Sex Addiction?

Can't say that I really care, but I find all the quivering excitement here hilarious:

If Tiger Woods winds up in Wickenburg for rehab over his apparent sexual compulsion and pill addiction, local businesses are ready.As the rumor mill seems to suggest, Tiger would be checking into the Meadows Rehabilitation Center in Wickenburg just after New Years, and despite being a little late in covering Tiger-gate's Arizona connection, the Arizona Republic reports today that local businesses are gearing up for golf's greatest Lothario.

For example, the owner of Sundance Pizza in Wickenburg, Bob Halsey, has already placed a sign in front of his store that says "Hey, Tiger, we deliver."

Chances of Tiger ordering some of Halsey's take-out are probably unlikely -- perhaps a more suiting sign should say "hey, droves of paparazzi, we deliver."

If Tiger does end up in Wickenburg, the number of paparazzi that will descend on the tiny town is certain to cause a boom for the local economy. Some tabloids are even rumored to have placed journalists in the rehab center themselves, in order to get the real dirt on the golf great.

Paying lots of money to stop having sex with hot women seems an odd thing to do.  From my experience he could take up playing Dungeons and Dragons and have the same result for a lot less money.

  • zippy the dwarf

    d00d, no way. my 10th level fighter gets MAD LADEEZ! pwned!

  • 2nd level commoner

    DnD is great. It lets me make comments about making a saving throw when I make a mad dash to the toilet in a third world country and such. Unfortunately, it does not lure the ladies. So I got a mail order bride. After 3 years of marriage I now understand why she was still single in her country of orgin...

  • ArtD0dger

    Actually, I think Tiger has no choice but to pay money to stop having sex with hot women, perhaps hundreds of millions of dollars.

    It's a shame all the incentives are aligned to make him plead "addiction" in order to absolve himself, and incidentally empower the leviathan absolver.

  • Mark

    It was a sad day when Gary Gygax died.

    But surprisingly he was married twice and had six kids, so his Dungeons and Dragons might not be as much help as you would think.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Gygax

  • O Bloody Hell

    "Sex addiction" is one of THE most lame, stupid-ass concepts for anyone to ever put forth.

    People who promote it should seriously do something about their breathing addiction...

    :-/

  • O Bloody Hell

    > But surprisingly he was married twice and had six kids, so his Dungeons and Dragons might not be as much help as you would think.

    Well, he had lots of money, sort of like Tiger, but even less.

    So your assessment is almost certainly the case -- The $$$ overrides the D&D...

    > I now understand why she was still single in her country of orgin…

    And yet she's probably orders of magnitude better than American girls, who have been convinced by the social system that their fecal matter smells like rose petals, and every word they utter is as an entire song from an angel...

  • http://www.grouchyconservativepundits.com Mike C.

    "Paying lots of money to stop having sex with hot women seems an odd thing to do. From my experience he could take up playing Dungeons and Dragons and have the same result for a lot less money."

    "Now I don't care who you are - that there's funny !"

    Larry the cable guy

  • Sean

    'In the hole' will have a new meaning forever more.

  • jb

    Brilliant :)

  • Mark

    It could work if Arizona is mostly populated with Ugly women.

    Keep Tiger away from ASU.

  • http://genericconfusion.blogspot.com Greg

    "Gaming is like sex, except there's no orgasm to tell you when to stop."

    - T-shirt slogan