Spam Call of the Day

Me:  Hello?
Caller:  I represent your local yellow pages and need to update our information on your account

BIG RED FLAG:  There are many scam artists out there who take your business information and then treat it like a "buy" order for advertising and bill later.  Beware people calling saying they are just trying to "update your listing."   I have also had folks who actually cut and pasted recordings of my phone calls to paste my answers to questions that have not been asked.

Me:  What city are you representing?
C:  we're local
M:  Local where?
C: here
M:  I have 200 locations across the country, what local area are you representing?
C: we're worldwide -- everywhere.
M:  CLICK (me hanging up)

Wow, telemarketing scripts by Kafka.  Unbelievably, they called again 10 seconds later

M: Hello
C:  We represent Phoenix
M:  OK, Phoenix.  I don't have any operations in Phoenix, just my HQ.  I don't want to be listed in Phoenix
C:  You are already listed
M:  Well that explains why I get calls at my accounting office looking for a camping space.  Please remove me.
C:  Can I have your name please
M:  No you may not.  You said I had an account already.  You should know my name  CLICK

Incredibly, my new favorite Indian pitbull telemarketer calls again

M:  Hello
C:  blah, blah, something, blah blah.
M:  Look, please take this down.  I do not want a yellow pages listing in Phoenix.  I would like my Yellow Pages listing removed in Phoenix.  I do not want to pay you any money.  I do not want to give you any information.  I do not want you to call me any more.  CLICK

I do not want it sam I am.  I do not want green eggs and spam. 

I probably still will get a bill.

  • Dave

    Wayne,
    They are the same the world over (albeit with the same accent). Don't forget what happened at the end of green eggs and ham!
    Dave

  • HTRN

    You're missing a golden opportunity to screw with them.

    http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

  • Jim Hall

    At least you answered the phone on this one. If my receptionist is running errands or otherwise isn't in, most anyone in the office can (and will) pick up, and Lord knows what they will do. I have a large stack of unpaid "phone directory" bills. I've offered to let them sue me. No one has tried.

    Despite office memos and talks to new folk, I still get hit (pretty rarely) by the occasional toner phoner scam. I put the box on the shelf, and tell them they can have it back if they provide me billing information and where to ship to. Surprisingly, for all the gold-plated toner is supposedly worth, no one wants to pay to have it back.

  • Mike

    I once had a kick of trying to track how callers got my number. I once got a call from MCI.

    The caller starts out with his speech about how the benefits of MCI long distance:

    Me: How did you get my number?

    Caller: What do you mean?

    M: You called me, I didn't call you, so that means you have my number, how'd you get it?

    C: It was on my computer.

    M: Okay, how'd it get on your computer, who put it there?

    C: I don't know...

    M: Look, this isn't a business, this is a personal phone number. Don't call me unless I know you, or I already do business with you.

    C: Are you trying to hide something?

    M: What the hell are you talking about?

    C: You seem to be hiding something, perhaps I should call the police!

    M: Go ahead! This is harrassment! I want to speak with your supervisor.

    C: Okay, just a moment.

    (An obviously fake female voice comes on)

    C: Yes?

    M: Your caller is harrassing me.

    C: Oh?

    M: Damnit! It's you!

    C: Who? What ever could you be talking about?

    M:

    I called MCI and reported this call. The guy on the other end of the line sounded very interested in the call. I explained that I never wanted to be called from MCI again, and they need to fire that telemarketer. The guy I called sounded very upset and said he would get to the bottom of this, and he apologized.